Brian Alonso

26

2026-04-01T11:50:00Z

26 reflections on my 26th birthday.

I can't believe you're 26.

-Van McCann

Happy immediate family, happy life. Don't forget about your parents.
Podcasts are entertainment masquerading as knowledge. Entertainment is not a bad thing, but excessive consumption might be.
In a human world, AI can never replace human accountability. Leverage this accordingly.
You can either do a few things well or many things poorly. No exceptions.
If you don't love yourself, who else will?
No matter how small, healthy actions early in the day promote healthy tendencies later in the day.
Willpower is a finite resource. Use it intentionally.
Don't envy a lifestyle without considering the cost to attain it.
If possible, financially support things that bring you joy. This is not the time to be frugal.
Seek to own, not lease, especially when it comes to music.
Seek to understand before being understood.
Be interested before being interesting.
Trust your gut. You will make mistakes which will only help train your intuition.
Use more salt when cooking.
You're probably not tired, just dehydrated.
You can't escape your human nature, so you may as well understand it enough to make sure it is not to your detriment.
When you've explored and found what you like, don't be afraid of becoming a salty old creature of habit.
Outside of hard science, fiction will teach you more than non-fiction ever will.
Learn to express yourself using many mediums. At the root of it, playing an instrument is no different from public speaking.
Group physical activity yields some of the highest returns on your invested time.
Do more for the sake of it. You don't need a reason and rarely need permission. This is sometimes called art.
Consider optimism with a sprinkle of realism.
Adults aren't real. We're all just trying to figure it out.
Never put off something that will take less than two minutes.
Write more. It does a tremendous job helping you clarify and process your thoughts.
Learning does not make one learned, so do what you will this pithy list.

Indifference, Motivation, and Flourishing Once Again

2026-03-31T22:46:00Z

From the time I graduated college in 2022 up until this winter, I felt so full of life: dreaming big dreams and progressing towards infinite goals. I felt like I was flourishing.

However, 4 years later, all of that is gone. Through the first quarter of 2026, I have felt indifferent towards the world, feeling no desire to impart my values on it.

How much difference does it make?

-Eddie Vedder

Where did my motivation go?

After much reflection, I have answers for myself and anyone else feeling indifferent and lacking motivation:

The journey >> everything when it comes to motivation
Obsessing over values that are not your own severely compromises your motivation
Mental peace comes at the cost of complacency

Healthy motivation

Momentum seems to be a perennial theme I seem to reflect on. It feels so difficult to do anything when you have no momentum and it feels possible to take over the world when momentum is with you. Momentum almost completely relieves you of any need for willpower.

You have momentum when stopping takes more effort than continuing.

Momentum feels like a perpetual source of energy. It doesn't stop when you run out of the obsession that might have gotten you started or the discipline that may have initially sustained you.

Journey > Destination

This simple maxim seemed to be the root of my feelings of indifference. I had no momentum, no motivation, and nothing to work towards. A journey is at the heart of all of this!

Picking the right journey

While arriving someplace on a journey doesn't necessarily matter, the direction of a journey certainly does.

Why are you headed that direction?

While it may seem like such an innocent question, we (for better or worse) exist as the most socially-connected species to ever inhabit the Earth. Our nature compels us to maintain good standing in the tribe because the genes of those who did not fit into the tribe were not passed on to us.

One predominant modern strategy for social acceptance is virtue signaling—convincing others of how virtuous you are, optionally accompanied by virtuous action.

I have certainly employed this strategy! When you can appear to be whoever you want behind some digital profile, why not be the most virtuous of them all?

Though the benefit of social standing is tempting (and unnatural to ignore?), living up to the person one builds oneself up to be is impossible. To put it simply: I'm not trying to change the world, nor am I trying to convince you that I am capable of or trying to change the world.

A misaligned journey eventually comes to an end when one realizes the direction is not true to oneself. From now on, the directions I choose are based on values that are truly my own.

The cost of peace

In making decisions conscious of values I feel are truly my own, I feel generally at peace. I am no longer bothered by world events in which I can do no more than offer my prayers. Outside of my close social connections, I am no longer tempted by the 'must be nice' vices of fame, extravagant wealth, or elite social standing.

Ironically, all of this peace has come at the cost of indifference.

But the complacency feels so nice! Even if it creates the issue of purpose. Because maintenance of this 'destination' does not fill my days nor my thoughts.

While one option may be spending more time reflecting on "what else matters to me?"; my gut fees is to sacrifice some of this peace for purpose, drive, curiosity, and energy. In short, I miss feeling energized to get out of bed in the morning and spend time on something that is meaningful to me.

While relating to happiness, I believe the Count of Monte Cristo's wisdom to be highly relevant in this case:

There is neither happiness nor misery in the world. There is only comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness.

-The Count of Monte Cristo

Contrast is everything to our limbic system: we must feel the lack of something to be motivated to put energy towards something.

Will our love bloom again?

-Rebecca Lovell

Admittedly, I've only skimmed George Orwell's essay "Why I Write", but I admire his honesty admitting "sheer egoism" drove him to write.

The reality is, if we don’t do anything out of love for ourselves, who else will? Even the most perfect, devout, and attentive partners cannot possibly know the love we ourselves need each second of the day. Do something for yourself out of self-love.

So let your love for yourself bloom again, because self-love is the spark that starts everything: the small sacrifice of peace, to the value-driven journey, to flourishing once again.

2025

2026-01-07T00:50:00Z

2025 was a turbulent year to say the least. I both married my soulmate and lived through a family health scare. Through these highs and lows, I feel I have matured a tremendous amount and have gained much clarity on what actually matters to me—in turn, lifting a big weight off of my shoulders.

2025 was also the year I started writing on Bear, coincidentally discovering the IndieWeb and getting to meet some wonderful people :). Over three years after beginning to publish writing online, I feel I have finally found my home in the wide world of personal websites.

For safe-keeping, here are some other things I am proud to have done in 2025:

Completed my first bodyweight Murph in ~1 hour
Realizing I already had what I wanted including:
- A fulfilling, impactful career path
- A distraction-free, no-algorithm music listening experience through CDs and records
Published a few short stories, including an allegory outlining what I think it means to live a fulfilling life
Bought my first, second, and third pair of barefoot shoes
Finally, breaking my short-form content addition
Cancelled ChatGPT and GitHub Copilot subscriptions in an effort to rely on my own intuition and skill again

As a result of the clarity I gained in 2025, my desires for 2026 are focused.

This year I feel motivated to come at my work as a craftsman; I don't feel the need to take on side-projects; I want to keep learning and sharing things (on this site) that interest me; and when the motivation presents itself, I am excited to use the power of fiction and write more short stories.

Life feels fairly well balanced right now, so I'm really just striving for "more of the same" in 2026.

Happy new year!

Realizing You Already Have What You Want

2025-12-20T21:00:00Z

For the second time this year, I was reminded of this lesson: sometimes, the thing you want is right there in front of you.

Maybe humans are optimistic by nature, or maybe media in the 21st century has convinced us that 'the grass is always greener.' But sometimes the grass is just as green right where you are!

The first time this happened this year was when I was thinking deeply about what I want to do career-wise with the next few years of my life. While my job certainly fulfilled my childhood dreams, I felt it lacked the impact that I desire my adult life to have. Coincidentally, Blue Origin's New Glenn rocket launched for the first time reminding me what aerospace technology is all about—not scratching a billionaire's itch, but working to improve life for all on Earth.

I had been thinking on this for the three years since I graduated college, but I forgot to seriously consider if my current path was actually providing the impact I wanted to have. By chance, I was emphatically reminded "it does!" at the crucial moment.

I made the same mistake again this fall. I'll admit—I am one of the most easy people to fall for a techno-fix. And often, I seek techno-fixes as solutions to my often techno-problems.

This time around, I realized that I am too easily distracted by my phone when going to play music. How frustrating! I just want to open Spotify and queue some music I enjoy, only to be distracted by notifications or the lure of apps that I know are bound to be highly stimulating.

The obvious solution to my problem, I thought, was to ditch Spotify for an iPod.

Unfortunately, this transition was easier said than done because I didn't own much of my own music. I owned a hand full of records, but at the time, I classified them as a completely different listening experience.

So before thinking about getting an iPod, I needed to get my hands on an even older piece of technology—CDs.

Late this summer and throughout the fall, I began raiding used music stores like a maniac. Admittedly, the hunt for CDs was thrilling. The dopamine you're are rewarded with when you find the exact CD you are looking for at a fantastic price is a feeling like no other.

Side note: I'm 25, which means that my parents are of the generation that doesn't stream music, owned a lot of records, and now own a lot of CDs. While building my iTunes library, I had so much fun discussing and sharing the music I was buying with my dad. I don't get the same experience sharing a link to a song with a friend. All to say—I enjoyed this serendipitous experience sharing physical music with someone else.

Fast forward four months to now, as I am having the realization that the physical media listening experience is what I was looking for the whole time. I had it with records even before this 'search for music to fill up the iPod' began.

It's as simple as turning on the stereo system, putting a record or CD on, and enjoying the music—no device (and certainly no other techno-fix) required.

I was once again reminded that I already had the thing I was after.

P.S.—Turning off my Personal Radio Station

I'm too young for the album listening experience to have make an impression on my childhood. Growing up, I kind of just started buying songs I enjoyed from iTunes, and later, streaming songs I enjoyed from various artists and albums. In retrospect, technology of this time was built around making it as easy as possible to legally create your own mixtape or radio station.

This was awesome and empowering, but has now—in my opinion—taken a turn for the worse. I think the topic deserves longer thought, but in short, the algorithmically-generated listening experience does a perfect job of playing exactly the music you want exactly when you want it, but does so in a way that completely strips the art out of the music.

Through my journey back to physical media, I so thankful to have discovered the beauty and uniqueness of the album era.

To me, the album is a format of music meant to be consumed cover-to-cover. To cherry-pick an example, I don't think a prog-rock album like 2112 would make an impact or get any plays if it were released today. The song 2112 itself is a 20 minute commitment. That simply doesn't get played on the radio or recommended by Spotify.

Furthermore, I believe that the context of songs is important—and I certainly appreciate certain songs when I hear them in the context of the other songs on the album, as intended by the artist.

Lastly, I am thankful that there are still artists making music like this today. I particularly enjoy Fontaines D.C. and Foals.

White Mirror I: Prelude

2025-11-06T03:08:00Z

The first of a multi-part reflection on chaos, perception, and agency.

Friday

Washington, D.C.

After 35 long years, the day had finally come. The funeral for one life was the birth of another.

He gathered with his colleagues in their favorite conference room—all case officers for the U.S. Internal Revenue Service. A sheet cake was illuminated by rows of bright fluorescent lights. It read: Happy Retirement Roger.

Rodger’s mind was elsewhere, even though he was surrounded by the closest remaining thing he had to a family for one last time. Tonight’s retirement party was distracting him from preparing for his forthcoming pilgrimage to the Mecca of fly fishing, and Rodger still needed to pack. Plus, he had just purchased some new gear and badly needed practice with it as he was relatively new to the sport.

His dream of the perfect retirement was born as the excitement of the first few years of his career wore off. From that point forward, Rodger began saving to make this dream a reality—saving and sacrificing for over three decades. Often, the dream was the only thing keeping Rodger going. And not once did Rodger question if enduring years of ethical battles with tax collection cases was a just price to pay for the chance to live out his dream retirement.

Rodger, now 62, occupied the liminal space between his working life and what he imagined to be his dream life.

Despite being well past his best years physically, he was still in relatively good health—and long may his good health last, for he had the ambition to live out his days experiencing endless moments of adventure and freedom.

That night, he knew his final steps out of that IRS office building were his first steps on the adventure of a lifetime.

On the other side of the DMV, Lindsey was working late this Friday night. Not because she had a pile of work to complete, but her partner was out of town this week and she didn't feel like staying out late at a bar with her friends or going to the gym.

She wasn't a workaholic by the traditional definition. Rather, she valued her health, relationships, and mission contributing to the world. Tonight, she choose to focus her attention on the latter.

Lindsey was a scientist who studied how melting ice impacts the Earth's climate. And when she was confronted with the question, "Doesn't melting ice just cause sea levels to rise?" Lindsey would patiently explain that sea level rise is only one small, long-term effect of melting ice.

She studied an immediate effect of melting ice: a warmer Earth.

As she explained it—ice reflects some portion of sunlight back into space, so losing ice means that less light is reflected into space and more heat is absorbed by the Earth. To those in her circle, this is called ice-albedo climate feedback.

Nothing too pressing was happening this evening, but results were now available from the latest weeks-long run of her climate feedback model. Climate anxiety drove her to work in this field, so whenever new results were ready, she could never wait to start pouring over the data.

Monday

Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming

Rodger touched down in Jackson Hole on Sunday, and of course, darted straight from the airport to observe the spectacle of Old Faithful, which seemed to spout higher than ever. He camped out that night in his rig near Firehole Falls.

The sun shined on Rodger Monday morning. He enjoyed feeling the warm embrace of Mother Earth—his new family.

As he made his way down to the Firehole River, preparing for a day blissfully fishing for trout, he noticed flocks of birds swarming past him. It was a truly divine moment—as if God told all of the other animals he was coming and to leave all of the fish to Rodger. “This is exactly what I worked so tirelessly for,” thought Rodger as he descended to the distant river.

Rodger couldn’t help but smirk as he was eating his favorite tinned-fish treat—anchovies and mozzarella on sourdough—reflecting on his blissful morning. This would be the last time he needed to eat preserved fish. The trout were biting today. He just had to get one on his hook.

As he got back in his waders for the afternoon, his fellow fishermen were complaining that the fish had stopped biting. When he got back into the water, he noticed the crisp, crisp smell of Rocky Mountain fresh water was starting to turn rotten. But it seemed like he was having better luck with the fish! Bubbles were appearing around him—a key sign of the activity of smaller fish.

And in the blink of an eye, he was underwater.

It felt like a heavyweight champion had punched him in the chest, knocking the air right out of him. Trying to swim upward was very difficult in his now useless waders, so he had to ditch them.

He began seeing stars. His arms and legs began to tingle. With the last of his breath and consciousness, he finally broke the surface of the river.

This new world was unrecognizable to Rodger. The sun was completely gone, shielded by a great plume of sulfur and dust. This was the last image Rodger saw before being impaled by a rock flying through the air at terminal velocity.

Thursday

Washington, D.C.

On Thursday morning, back in Greenbelt Maryland at NASA’s Earth Science center, Lindsey was trying to understand what this all meant. She wasn’t a geologist, but knew that a cataclysmic eruption of the Yellowstone Caldera super-volcano was virtually impossible. It had been dormant for 70,000 years before Monday.

The sun had not shone through the cloud since the day after the eruption. The cloud, which covered the entire continent east of the Rockies, now made its way across the Atlantic. Of course, a silver lining of the situation was the reprieve that this series of eruptions would give the planet from a warming climate—just look at Mt. Pinatubo's 1991 eruption which cooled Earth by 0.5 ºC for a couple of years.

As she turned her attention to the news feed on her computer, Lindsey saw that good news was coming in. Geologist seismic models seemed to indicate that this was a one-off event. So far, Lindsey knew the volume of sulfur and dust spewed into the air was comparable to five times that of Mt. Pinatubo’s eruption.

Unlike the the field of seismology, the recent feeling amongst the climate science community was that they were beginning to get their arms around the chaotic nature of Earth’s weather systems and climate. Though as far as her current work was concerned, Lindsey was effectively blind, as her satellites (or “eyes in the sky” as she called them) were completely obscured as the growing cloud from Yellowstone covered the continent.

In the back of her mind, she was beginning to think about the climate feedback loop she studied, but in reverse—not global warming, but global cooling leading to ice sheet growth, which reflects more sunlight away, which causes Earth to cool even faster, causing ice sheets to grow even faster.

But she wasn't too bothered by the sun being blocked for a week. Lingering sulfur particles in the stratosphere would definitely keep Earth cool for a year, but due to this week's Yellowstone eruption, ice sheets would not noticeably grow.

And then it happened again.

Though this time the eruption was truly cataclysmic and didn’t stop for a week. Violent earthquakes devastated cities as far away as Denver and were felt in Seattle. If there was still life inhabiting the park, observers would have noticed Yellowstone lake almost completely boiled away.

This was the most powerful and destructive eruption that any of our human ancestors had ever experienced.

Fueled by caffeine, followed by adrenaline, and now by fear; Lindsey was trying to wrap her head around the implications of the cataclysmic Yellowstone eruption. With the latest volcanic activity, Yellowstone was now 20 times more explosive than Mt. Pinatubo in 1991—over 100x the volume of sulfur and dust spewed into the atmosphere.

Once unbothered, but now anxious, Lindsey was understanding what this meant: the Earth could cool 5 °C or more over the next 10 years.

Not only that, but the abrupt, prolonged cooling could create enough ice to send the Earth into a runaway period of ice-albedo feedback, turning Earth into a ball of snow and ice for possibly tens of millions of years.

As Lindsey calculated it, the probability of 'snowball Earth' was a staggering 56% if the Earth cooled 6 °C in the next decade.

In her mind, only one question remained: can humanity prevent or endure Earth’s frozen future?

What Is One Thing You Will Finish This Year?

2025-10-07T12:07:00Z

I ended up writing about two things in this post: one thing and the social reality effect. Feel free to skip to either one.

Around this time every year, I find myself with many things I want to do and many things I've started doing—all paired with waning focus and motivation.^[1]

Coincidentally, the fall also seems to be the busiest and most stressful time at work, which drains my creative energy.

What Is One Thing You Will Finish This Year?

In these times of limited mental resources, I find it useful to choose one thing^[2] to focus on. Choosing one thing sets me up for success by (1) stripping away almost all expectations and (2) making it extremely easy to know how to focus my time.

Through answering this question, I've gained clarity on what matters the most. If you don't know what this is, trying to answer the question of one thing at least forces you to think about your priorities. Newton's first law of motion often applies to humans too. When we're in motion, we tend to stay in motion—even if that motion isn't directed towards the things that matter the most to us.

Through answering this question, I've been able to grant myself permission to stop working on the things I can't seem to get across the finish line in favor of getting one thing done. This may sound obvious, but I struggle to quit and tend to let things fizzle out.

But what about the time I've already spent on those other things?

Yes, one option is to view the time already spent on other things as a sunk cost! It's true that you'll never get that time back. But on the flip side, stopping other things to focus on one thing is an effort to ensure the time working on your one thing isn't wasted.

Additionally, being able to actually finish something is bit of a lost art—at least for me. These days especially, it seems that the bar to start doing anything you want is really low. Intrinsic motivation and a little bit of discipline are usually required to see something through to the end. To me, these skills are like muscles—they need to be worked every once in a while to be ready for action when you need them.

Now that I have my one thing that I am planning on finishing this year, can I share it?

No! Whatever you do, please do not share your one thing! It must be kept a secret. Keep reading to learn why.

It's not dopamine that makes short form content digital crack

2025-08-30T13:11:00Z

Why did you click on that video? What about the title or thumbnail "spoke to you"?

Did it promise to contain a piece of knowledge you may one day find useful? Did it promise to make you feel some type of way if you watch it?

I've come to realize that most of my compulsive watching happens as a result of these two questions.

Information and emotion.

Of course our brain incentivizes consuming new information—it's a survival mechanism. Up until probably some point in 2012, information was hard to come by. Now, information is abundant. If we're not cognizant of the mismatch between the reality of abundant information and our brain's default settings, it is all too easy to lose control of our attention. I covered this in my post 2012 (Rosy Retrospection).

Emotion is a different problem made difficult by the fact that we can't always explain our feelings. In this post, I want to dive into this part of the problem.

Clicking on a YouTube video, watching it for a few minutes, and then realizing it isn't what I wanted has become a common occurrence. I'm sure part of it has to do with a short attention span. But more significantly, I have begun realizing that (1) I love my life and don't wish to live the life portrayed by someone on YouTube (read more) and (2) the emotional reward for watching a YouTube video is shallow and temporary compared to emotions in the 'real world'.

So back to the topic at hand—entertainment.

A fundamental idea here is that modern social media platforms lean much more towards entertainment than the social networks they once were. Herman and Jason cover this in this podcast episode. Furthermore, the entertainment offered on these platforms is akin to digital crack.

So how do you make digital crack?

Pick an emotion to convey
Convey the emotion in 60 seconds
Post it on a platform that will automatically feed that emotion to someone exactly when they want to see it

Entertainment is entertaining because it conveys emotion.

Ironically, I credit this realization to a YouTube video which had an appetizing title like "You'll never watch short-form content again after watching this video".

The short nature of short-form content means that one ten minute session might make a consumer experience ten different emotions compared to a long-form session where a consumer may only experience a few emotions.

But why is this only a problem today?

Entertainment has existed as long as humans. It's how we pass culture down to our descendants, it's how we teach valuable lessons, and it guarantees we leave having felt emotion—laughter, happiness, sadness, betrayal, lust, or anger.

And that is what makes short-form 'content' so addictive—its ability to convey an emotional state in 60 seconds.

Why sit through a two hour play when you can have a serving of the same emotions within a few minutes from the comfort of your own home?

But the duration is only a part of it. The platforms that serve you these micro emotional states have a really good idea of what you want to feel in that moment.

This is so often why I click on the first or second video on my homepage. Because it seems to promise exactly what I want in that moment—and it's usually right!

What can be done about all of this?

I've been trying for years to modify my digital environment in pursuit of a life focused on the things I want to focus on.

But I was only successful after realizing that emotion is at the heart of addicting entertainment.

I invite you to think about how emotion plays into what you choose to consume online.

And remember, attention is the one thing you own that everyone else wants. I wrote more on the topic here.

2012 (Rosy Retrospection)

2025-08-10T18:19:00Z

I roll over in bed as I hear the alarm clock on my iPhone ringing. It's 7:30 AM on December 11th, 2012. Supposedly, the world will end tomorrow.

I unlock my phone to see notifications from a few things I missed overnight. Not much seemed to happen while I was asleep. I briefly check instagram and see a few new posts. Then twitter. Not much has been happening in my circles since I went to bed.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee starts to make its way into my room as I set my phone aside. "Modern life is so convenient!" I think think to myself while patting myself on the back for remembering to set the coffee maker to automatically brew this morning.

After a quick breakfast, I get in the car and start my commute to work. I bought the new Rush album Clockwork Angles on the iTunes store this weekend, so I plug my phone in to the Aux port and rock out on my way to work.

The office is lively today, just as it is every day, so this detail doesn't really stick out to me, but it was a little difficult finding a parking spot!

On my walk in, I swing by my colleague's office to chat about the weekend's Barclays Premier League results, as both of us love playing soccer. I gloated about the opportunity to watch Arsenal beat Spurs live this weekend, while my colleague's club Chelsea wasn't shown on TV. In lieu of televised soccer, he proceeded to tell me about his exploits in his weekend pickup game.

After work, I need to decompress, so I turn on pandora radio and plug in my earbuds. I love to spend this time of the day reading a post from my favorite blog or catching up on e-mail conversations with friends from a far. But I begin to grow frustrated by pandora's recommended songs—mostly radio hits—not the deep tracks I've found listening to my favorite albums cover-to-cover, so I switch back to my iTunes library.

Next, I log on to YouTube and search for the Chelsea highlights my colleague was telling me about. After the video ends, I look over to my clock and see it's only 6 PM! I don't yet realize it, but I'm really enjoying being in control of my evening.

Now it's time to call some friends and see if anyone has plans after dinner. The finale of the second season of Game of Thrones is tonight and I'm interested in watching.

They come over, we watch the episode, and the chat for a few hours before calling it a night.

Before bed, I crack open the book I just got from Barnes and Noble and read.

As I peacefully fall asleep, I completely forget that the world is supposed to end tomorrow, for I am too in-touch with my physical world to worry about things like that which are outside of my control.

A Note from the Author

Was 2012 actually this good, or are we just remembering the past through rose-tinted glasses?

When I look back, I remember 2012 as a special year. Not because we actually owned our own music, but because we owned our attention.

Do you remember a time when it wasn't possible to binge watching a show? In 2012, you probably would have needed to go to the store, purchase a box set of the show you want to binge, and play DVD after DVD after DVD until finishing the show.

In 2012, there was much more friction to do nearly everything. We had to drive to the store to buy something, we had to purchase a song to listen to it, we had to search for a video to play it, and to leave work we had to get into the car and drive home. Information and novelty was plentiful, but required some effort to get it—just enough effort to force us to spend our time intentionally.

Chris Williamson has a theory that around 2012, there was a perfect balance of information—enough to stay informed without being overwhelming.

Compare this to 2025—a frictionless world of abundance.

Our brain has not yet evolved to cope with this wealth of information. Biologically, we assume that information is scarce and are rewarded for novelty.

In the modern world, so much willpower and intentional life design is required to truly be in control of our attention—the one resource we have that everyone else in the world is vying for.

Awareness that we aren't in control is an essential step in taking back ownership of our attention.

When life feels out of your control

2025-06-12T12:38:55Z

I was recently under the impression that I had ultimate agency over my life. After all, it feels really really good to be in control. Or at least to think you are.

What was I even chasing in my bid for agency?

Realistically, I wanted the ability to make the physical world imitate the imaginary world in my head, but recently it feels like the universe has observed me feeling a maximum sense of agency and has chosen to remind me about what brings joy in life.

Let's do a little thought experiment, proposed by Naval in his appearance on the Modern Wisdom podcast.

I can put an electrode in your brain, and as a result, you will feel pure bliss. Would you like that?

Maybe for a little bit, but perhaps you realize you don't want to feel happy all of the time. Maybe instead, you ask if the electrode can make you feel fulfilled.

But is that really what you want? Even pure, unlimited fulfillment and happiness will get old after some time.

I think really, we are truly driven by serendipity. Serendipitous happiness, serendipitous fulfillment, even serendipitous sadness, anger, or disappointment.

So maybe you've gotten a parking ticket that seems unfair, or a loved one has ended up in the hospital close to death, or you have an unexpected pregnancy, and you find yourself wishing things were different, remember: life is not in your control, and the fact that it is not is a good thing, because humans crave serendipity—it's what keeps existence dynamic and meaningful.

I Didn't Realize I Was a First Principles Thinker Until…

2025-05-15T15:43:00Z

For the better part of 6 years, first principles thinking was a mystery to me. Of course I wanted to become a first principles thinker, but didn't understand how to become one.

Then everything changed. Today, I realized that I had a first principles thought.

As a result, I am writing this post to share how I would learn to become a first principles thinker if I were starting again.

Why first principles thinking?

In recent years, thought leaders in the engineering and business worlds attribute their success to first principles thinking. As a result, personal development gurus echo this as advice, while simultaneously making it clear that they are only reciting platitudes rather than understanding the concept themselves.

Admittedly, first principles thinking was not a trait I intentionally taught myself. I stumbled upon the realization that I was doing it.

But the results of first principles thinking are undeniable—often making the seemingly impossible possible.

What is first principles thinking?

First principles thinking is a problem solving technique where a larger problem is broken down into its fundamental parts (its first principles).
First principles thinkers instinctively approach problems in this way, questioning all assumptions and stopping only at the laws of physics.

How to become a first principles thinker

Step 1: optimistic thinking

As Thomas Friedman once wrote:

Pessimists are usually right and optimists are usually wrong but all the great changes have been accomplished by optimists.

When is the last time you came across a problem and stopped at, "I don't think this is possible" or "this would be really hard to do right now"?

And you're probably right! the thing is probably virtually impossible or may be hard to do now.

But this pessimistic thinking has stopped you from solving this problem before first principles thinking can even be applied.

The optimist acknowledges the difficulty of the problem, but chooses a different definition for what's possible.

They believe: only the laws of physics can determine if something is impossible.

Step 2: find the essence

Imagine the following scenario: your marriage has become dull. Your partner seems to get upset with you for the simplest, trivial things.

Maybe this particular episode is happened because your partner took the trash out instead of you tonight.

How could you apply first principles thinking?

First, it would be appropriate to notice that something as silly as who should take the trash to the dumpster? is a symptom of some other problem—not the essence of this one.

You start to think through it and realize you and your partner are both exhausted tonight. They cooked dinner after working from home while you were commuting almost an hour each way.

You've found the essence of the problem!

From here the solution to reignite your relationship is not I'll take the trash out in the future but we'll work on changing our lifestyle so we aren't both tired and irritable by the end of the evening.

From here you're far more likely to implement a lasting solution that addresses the fundamental problems in your relationship.

I believe the technique really is this simple. Now you have the mindset the become a first principles thinker.

Solve problems as an optimist
Find and address the essence of problems

The key to having your aha! moment is to go out and solve a lot of problems.

If your work is by nature technical, this should be straightforward as it is what you are paid to do. If your typical work is something else, your life away from work will present many opportunities to apply first principles thinking.

If you find yourself wondering if you are a first principles thinker, ask yourself these questions:

Do I seek to understand root causes or do I stop at symptoms?
Do I even consider the option that the problem is impossible?
Can I find fundamental similarities in related but different things?

I finally understand the power of fiction

2025-04-21T11:34:00Z

Have you ever read a book so thrilling, you can’t put it down? And has such a book ever changed the way you look at the world?

I only recently began to understand the power of fiction. I didn’t learn this in high school—assigned reading actually pushed me away from fiction (and reading altogether) for a number of years.

And when I began reading again 6 years ago, fiction books felt like a guilty pleasure. Reading isn’t supposed to be fun, right? You’re supposed to download as much information into your brain as efficiently as possible, right?

Both of these assumptions were challenged as I read the Remembrance of Earth's Past trilogy (Three Body Problem series). These books fundamentally changed how I view fiction.

Here’s what I learned.

Fiction as a framework

Fiction transports us to alternate worlds or lets us live the life of another person in our current world.

While these worlds or characters are fictional and used to communicate a story, they also tell us about our current world and ourselves.

Thinking about the dynamics of fictional worlds helps us understand our own world and the challenges faced by fictional characters can teach us lessons applicable to our own lives.

Fictional stories serve as a framework which we can use to think about our own world and our own experiences.

Wired for stories

Our monkey brains have adapted to learn through stories.

For millennia, stories have helped humans persevere information—to convey information about survival, to teach morals, and to preserve culture.

In the 'influencer' age, we say we crave authenticity. I believe this stems from a longing for genuine stories—whether rooted in real experiences or fictional worlds.

Humans are wired to remember stories far more effectively than isolated facts.

Fiction is a powerful tool, and this realization is why I’ve started writing my own short stories, which you can read here.

The Flame Bearers

2025-04-11T18:09:00Z

Dear readers, I am writing to you from the Place of the Common Light.

We have endured a long and hard journey across the desert. Our morale challenged by blinding sandstorms, a dwindling supply of food, and difficulties coaxing weary animals onward.

Three weeks into our journey, we saw something on the horizon. It looked manmade—maybe just another oasis. Had it been another mirage reflecting on the sand, we would not have been surprised.

But as we approached, we saw it standing there before us. Just as the entertainers had promised through their endless stories: The Place of the Common Light.

It is here that my companions and I hoped to find a strong Flame to light our torches and revive the Flame of our dying oasis that we call home.

It is now clear to us that the Place of the Common Light—once a major center for all people—has now fallen into neglect. The great Flame that has burned for millennia is now only glowing remains of a pyre.

You may be curious as to why we abandoned our loved ones and risked our lives to venture toward a destination unknown to anyone until this very moment, so allow me tell you about the oasis we call home.

The Oasis we Call Home

Long ago, our ancestors made the opposite journey—one from the Place of the Common Light to the oasis. They came to the oasis out of necessity. They needed a home suitable to long-term flourishing—something more than just the survival they were capable of at the Place.

Since the time of settlement, the oasis has become a thriving civilization with ample access to food, water, and shelter. And for that we are grateful.

Our ancestors worked extremely hard and had to be incredibly innovative to provide our generation with a life of comfort and abundance. From the stories the elders told, it was clear how much meaning was created working for the promise of a better life for each other and future generations.

Our ancestors are not only settlers of the oasis on which I grew up, but settlers of many more across the land.

It was said that the Common Light—which has been burning since the first humans stuck fire—is the spirit that binds the many oases across the land.

However, many generations have passed since the days when we all lived at the Place. No one in the oasis really thinks or speaks of the Common Light anymore. And why should they when they are living lives of comfort, safety, and abundance?

The Decline

While there was plenty of flour for the bakers, advanced medicine for the doctors, resources for caregivers, and paint for artists; the oasis was showing signs of wear.

The Flame at the heart of the oasis—reminding us of our past and future—was running out of fuel.

All of those responsible for the wonderful oasis were lacking direction working in dim Light.

The school houses were falling apart, chefs had a difficult time keeping poison out of food, and the best scientists were busy building castles made of sand.

The libraries were full of readers, but fewer and fewer books were being produced each year, despite the perfect conditions for writers to thrive.

Those of us who recognized the decline knew we must embark on a journey across the desert to revive the Flame of the oasis.

Leaving the Oasis

No one was even sure if the Common Light existed, but some of us who felt the decline of the oasis felt obliged to try and find the Common Light to revive our Flame.

A variety of reasons motivated individuals to join our group and embark on this journey.

Some were yet to give up on childhood dreams fueled by stories about noble journeys like this one.

Some wanted to fill a void of meaning, often asking is there more? while enjoying a life of comfort and abundance.

Some were seeking the adventure of a lifetime.

The motivation or whether we discovered the Common Light mattered less than the journey itself—a journey full of meaning because it was devoted to everyone on the oasis.

A Mixed Reception

Many didn't believe the purpose behind trying to revive this oasis, some feeling that we could just move to a new one—even if we made it to the Common Light.

While my tribe lived in abundance, there were tribes on the oasis struggling to meet their basic needs. There was no expectation of these members joining our journey, though some still did.

Then there were members of our tribe that were physically incapable of the journey, so it was unreasonable to ask them to come.

And finally, there are those responsible for the abundance of love in our oasis. They should not be asked to leave either. The caregivers and artisans who form the beating heart of the oasis.

Those who see our journey as meaningless overlook the undeniable meaning created living for others and pursuing collective flourishing.

Without those back home who make life worth living and raise up future generations, we would not embark on a journey to bear the Flame.

And that is why we are here, at the Place of the Common Light.

We are the Flame Bearers

Those of us who undertook the journey recognize the Flame's existence, while many others carry it unknowingly.

Countless Flame Bearers before us have witnessed the Light blaze brilliantly, and numerous successors will again nurture it back from embers.

Though sustaining the Flame is essential, artists, caregivers, and scientists all thrive, producing their finest and most inspired work when its Light burns brightest.

A flourishing Flame can be seen from any oasis. It reminds us all of our purpose here.

There is no conclusion to this tale. We know the burden we must bear—to see that the Common Light burns a little bit brighter for all of those on Earth that stand to benefit from it.

The steps I’m taking to live a focused life

2025-03-22T15:48:00Z

How often do you find yourself so motivated to do something, but instantly distracted by something else as soon as you open your phone or laptop?

Sometimes I have the willpower to turn away from the distractions and do what I want to do, but generally I spend so much time consuming many things I don't even want to consume.

I have been battling this for years—feeling imprisoned by my instincts and betraying what I really want to do.

It is so frustrating to have ambitions that aren't matched by attention. In other words, I am distracted.

My current solution? Extreme environment control.

Nothing distracting on my phone

I think I’ve finally gotten to a point where the use of my phone is more often than not, an experience I don’t regret.

I started around a year ago by turning my iPhone into a "dumb phone".^[1]

This process starts by deleting most of the apps on your phone and Safari browser extensions to moderate distracting content.

This didn't solve the problem

Although I blocked YouTube shorts, recommended videos, and the home page, I still found myself able to go down YouTube rabbit holes—still taking time and attention away from the things I actually want to do.

For a very short period of time, I removed Safari from my phone completely. But as you can imagine, modern life requires browser access.

Moderating through screen time didn't work either. It is absurd to think that I'm not going to click "Allow for ..." when I'm 2 minutes into my 4 minute video.

Current setup

I used parental controls to completely block YouTube.com and Reddit.com.

Expected outcomes

I expect to be bored. And for me, this is an ideal state of being.

When I'm bored, I'm far more likely to sit down and:

Write and share my thoughts with the world
Feel the urge to go for a walk
Work on a personal project
Come up with a creative meal to cook

While these activities aren't as instantly gratifying as watching a short form video, these activities bring long-lasting joy and fulfillment that are extremely gratifying in retrospect.

My old article on how to turn your iPhone into a "dumb phone" ↩︎

My journey discovering who I am

2025-03-20T21:32:00Z

I graduated college in 2022. Like many middle class kids from a first world country, life up to this point was pretty much planned out for me. It looks something like this:

Graduate high school
Go to college
Meet your life partner
Graduate college
Get a job
Retire

Following graduation, I have spent nearly three years trying to figure out essentially how to spend the rest of my life, as I have accomplished what was laid out for me. This meant asking myself questions like:

What does a fulfilling life look like? And how do I live one?
How should I spend my days to make the most of my life?
What actually matters to me?

Of course, many people online claim to have the answers to all of these questions. They glamorize their lifestyle and leave you wanting a life even remotely similar to theirs. But highlighting glamour is usually prioritized over sharing the lows.

Although we can all see this trap from a mile away, it is somehow still very easy to get caught in it.

I’ve spent these last three years trying to live these lives others have glamorized online—indie hacker, blogger, and YouTuber to name a few.

I still felt lost.

What changed?

I realized I was not living a life of my own. I was pursuing things that I now realize don’t matter to me.

I realized I was trying to run away from a life I actually love.

I feel no need to try different “side hustles”.

I have what even many billionaires lack—enough.

But living an authentic life is only part of the equation. I still need purpose.

Finding my why

Coincidentally (or maybe not!), I have also gained a lot of clarity on my life’s mission over these past three years.

Fiction—particularly The Remembrance of Earth’s Past series—has helped me find this answer.

In college, I got on board with this idea:

a life of meaning comes from dedicating your life to others.

I was committed to living in service of humanity.

But how do I serve humanity? For six years, I thought this was working to help fix the climate crisis. More recently, I added the goal of helping others be the best they can be.

The lightbulb moment happened as I finished the aforementioned series: all of these goals fit under the same umbrella. And sacrifices don’t have to be made in achieving them.

And that lead me to discovering my life’s true mission.

Human flourishing for the benefit of Earth.

What does this mean going forward?

It is honestly quite freeing to have a much better idea of who I am and what matters to me.

Now that I have found this clarity, it is time to start living for my why and help others to do the same.

The Dispensers of Fate

2025-03-03T17:38:00Z

There once was a place where life was governed by dispensers.

Every morning, the people swiped their card in a dispenser’s reader and received their fate for the day.

Some dispensers gave great fortune—a windfall of wealth, an encounter with love, or a stroke of genius. Others bestowed challenges—heartbreak, failure, or loss. But every fate, good or bad, shaped the person who lived it.

The land was filled with an endless number of dispensers—so many that a person could visit a new one every day of their adult life and never return to the same one twice. Yet, despite this vast variety, no two dispensers were ever exactly the same.

Each morning, the choice of dispenser was the greatest decision a person could make. Some chose to return to dispensers that had given them good fortune in the past, while others sought out new dispensers, chasing unknown possibilities. Over time, the people of this land fell into a spectrum between explorers and exploiters.

Among them were two siblings: Kiko and Rockwell.

Two Paths, Two Struggles

Kiko had always been an explorer. Every day, they ventured into the unknown, swiping their card at dispensers no one had ever used before. Some days, they were gifted with joy, love, or inspiration. Other days, they were struck by loss, hardship, or regret. But with their youthful spirit, they kept moving, believing that the greatest fate lay just beyond the next dispenser.

But one morning, after a week of misfortune, they hesitated. They had lost an important opportunity, been dealt a painful farewell, and suffered a day of isolation. For the first time, they questioned themselves:

"What if I'm searching for something that doesn't exist? What if I'm just chasing shadows?"

They turned to their older sibling Rockwell for advice.

Rockwell, on the other hand, was an exploiter. Over time, they had discovered a handful of dispensers that treated them well—ones that granted steady comfort, reliable fortune, and familiar joys. They returned to them day after day, choosing security over risk.

But one morning, something changed.

Rockwell swiped their card at their favorite dispenser—the one that had always granted modest fortune and easy days. But this time, the dispenser rejected his card. The words flashed across the screen:

"No fate available."

Confused, they tried another one of their trusted dispensers. Again, "No fate available."

A cold realization hit them. The dispensers were not infinite wells. They ran dry.

Panic gripped them—were they too late to change?

The Fate of Knowledge

That same morning, Kiko swiped their card at a new dispenser, bracing for whatever fortune or misfortune it would bring. The screen flickered and displayed:

"You have received a fate of knowledge."

For the rest of the day, everything became clear. They could see the patterns of people’s choices—their habits, their regrets, their mistakes. They saw explorers who never stopped moving, forever chasing something better but never staying long enough to build upon what they had found. And they saw exploiters who had grown too comfortable, stuck in the loops of familiar dispensers, unaware that their rewards were diminishing with time.

They saw themselves. They saw Rockwell.

That night, they found Rockwell sitting in the Square, staring at the rows of dispensers with an expression they had never seen before—uncertainty.

“I need your help,” Rockwell admitted. “I… I never realized I was running in place.”

Kiko sat beside him. “And I never realized I was running past everything that mattered.”

They shared a quiet moment before looking at the endless rows of dispensers before them.

A New Choice

The next morning, Kiko stood before the rows of dispensers, the weight of their failures fresh in their mind. For the first time, they considered not moving forward. But then asked themselves:

"How many great dispensers have I already found and abandoned? What if I stopped searching long enough to learn from the best of what I’ve found?"

For the first time, they retraced their steps and returned to a dispenser they had once loved but left behind. It did not disappoint.

Rockwell, meanwhile, took their first step into the unknown. They had no choice—their old dispensers were gone. They hesitated before selecting a new one, heart pounding, hand shaking. They swiped their card.

The fate it gave them was unlike any they had experienced before—not perfect, not terrible, but unexpected. And in doing so, they learned something new—a glimpse into a life they had never lived before.

From then on, Rockwell changed their approach. They still returned to their most trusted dispensers, but now, every so often, they tried a new one. Not every fate was better, but over time, they found dispensers that enriched their life in ways they never imagined.

Kiko, too, changed. They had always been an explorer, but now they marked the best dispensers they had found. Instead of wandering endlessly, they began to return to the ones that had given them the most meaning, making the most of what they had learned.

One day, Kiko and Rockwell stood before the rows of dispensers, now both wiser. They no longer feared the unknown, nor clung to the familiar.

And so, every morning, they made their choice—not with fear, but with understanding.

Moral of the Story

When asked how they had both built such fulfilling lives, Kiko and Rockwell gave the same answer:

"Keep seeking new opportunities while recognizing the value of what you’ve already found."

For a deeper dive into the explore/exploit dilemma, check out Chapter 2 of Algorithms to Live By by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths, which explains the concept through algorithms.

Reply if you figured out who Kiko and Rockwell were named after.

Brian Alonso

26

Indifference, Motivation, and Flourishing Once Again

Healthy motivation

Picking the right journey

The cost of peace

2025

Realizing You Already Have What You Want

P.S.—Turning off my Personal Radio Station

White Mirror I: Prelude

Friday

Washington, D.C.

Monday

Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming

Thursday

Washington, D.C.

What Is One Thing You Will Finish This Year?

What Is One Thing You Will Finish This Year?

What Is One Thing I Will Finish This Year?

It's not dopamine that makes short form content digital crack

So how do you make digital crack?

What can be done about all of this?

2012 (Rosy Retrospection)

A Note from the Author

When life feels out of your control

I Didn't Realize I Was a First Principles Thinker Until…

Why first principles thinking?

What is first principles thinking?

How to become a first principles thinker

Step 1: optimistic thinking

Step 2: find the essence

I finally understand the power of fiction

Fiction as a framework

Wired for stories

The Flame Bearers

The Oasis we Call Home

The Decline

Leaving the Oasis

A Mixed Reception

We are the Flame Bearers

The steps I’m taking to live a focused life

Nothing distracting on my phone

This didn't solve the problem

Current setup

Expected outcomes

My journey discovering who I am

What changed?

Finding my why

What does this mean going forward?

The Dispensers of Fate

Two Paths, Two Struggles

The Fate of Knowledge

A New Choice

Moral of the Story