When life feels out of your control
I was recently under the impression that I had ultimate agency over my life. After all, it feels really really good to be in control. Or at least to think you are.
What was I even chasing in my bid for agency?
Realistically, I wanted the ability to make the physical world imitate the imaginary world in my head, but recently it feels like the universe has observed me feeling a maximum sense of agency and has chosen to remind me about what brings joy in life.
Let's do a little thought experiment, proposed by Naval in his appearance on the Modern Wisdom podcast.
I can put an electrode in your brain, and as a result, you will feel pure bliss. Would you like that?
Maybe for a little bit, but perhaps you realize you don't want to feel happy all of the time. Maybe instead, you ask if the electrode can make you feel fulfilled.
But is that really what you want? Even pure, unlimited fulfillment and happiness will get old after some time.
I think really, we are truly driven by serendipity. Serendipitous happiness, serendipitous fulfillment, even serendipitous sadness, anger, or disappointment.
So maybe you've gotten a parking ticket that seems unfair, or a loved one has ended up in the hospital close to death, or you have an unexpected pregnancy, and you find yourself wishing things were different, remember: life is not in your control, and the fact that it is not is a good thing, because humans crave serendipity—it's what keeps existence dynamic and meaningful.